Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Shiver Me Timbers

What the hell happened to Long John Silver’s? When I was a kid the place looked like a pirate ship. It was all rustic wood and stuff with nets, harpoons and cutlasses on the walls. Now it looks like this:

And this:

I know businesses have to keep up with the times and I’m not privy to the market studies and whatnot that led to the changes so I guess (as usual) my opinion doesn’t count for all that much but when I was a kid going to Long John Silver’s meant eating fish & chips in something that felt kind of like a theme park (or at the very least a Renaissance festival.) That’s all gone now, replaced by crap like this:

I get the feeling that they changed it because someone thought all that pirate stuff was a little too intense for the family crowd. But eating greasy fast food in an environment filled with jolly rogers and replica weapons didn’t hurt me. It entertained me. The old Long John Silver’s décor was fun and unique. Now it’s milquetoast.

I’m not going to go off on a rant about the nanny state and how we’re raising a generation of perpetual babies but I will leave you with this: Here’s what the paper give-a-way pirate hats used to look like.

Now they look like this:

Someone should be made to walk the plank.

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