Thursday, December 31, 2015

And a Santa in a Christmas Tree

I think it’s important to keep the Chris (Kringle) in Christmas so this year I set a goal for myself of eating a dozen candy Clauses or, as I called them, the "12 Santa’s of Christmas". Here’s how I did.

Santa One
Twix Santa

The first Santa of the year was delicious. You just can't go wrong with a Twix.

Santa Two
Hershey Santa

This Santa apparently had a severe chimney-traversing accident. Or maybe he just got run over by a reindeer walking home from our house Christmas eve. Either way, didn't hurt the taste any. It's a small Hershey bar in festive Santa form!

Santa Three
Russell Stover Marshmallow Santa

This guy looked almost nothing like Santa Claus. He's mostly just a bumpy lump but chocolate covered marshmallow tastes great so I'm not complaining.

Santa Four
Crisp Kringle

I’ve been getting these delicious crisp rice in chocolate bars in my Christmas stocking since I was a little kid. Proof positive that the big man himself approves of my eating his graven image.

Santa Five
Russell Stover Caramel Santa

I think I’m just going to call this one, “Reindeer Dropping Santa”. Tasted far better than he looked, though. Actually, that's damning him with faint praise. Almost anything would taste better than this looks. Ol' Caramel Claus was pretty good.

Santa Five
Another Crisp Kringle

I really thought I’d find more Santa shaped candy than this. I haven’t even hit the halfway mark in my 12 Santa’s of Christmas and I’m already repeating. I’d feel bad about it but I do love me some Crisp Kringle.

Santa Six
The Reese's Peanut Butter Snowman

I know it's not a Santa but it's the best single Christmas candy on the market. Reese's should make a Santa. It's not my fault they haven't gotten their act together yet, is it? Get on it, Reese's! Stop making me look bad!

Santa Seven
Yet Another Crisp Kringle

Maybe committing to eating a dozen Santas before I actually had in my possession a dozen Santas was a bad idea. Still, I love these things.

Santa Eight
Russell Stover Chocolate Santa

Okay. This is more like it. What The 12 Santa’s of Christmas was meant to be. Pure chocolate goodness. Pure candy sculpted Santa. Things are going to be fine. I’m going to make it.

Santa Nine
Marshmallow Snowman

I’m not going to make it. I'm only at number nine and this one isn’t even a Santa. In my defense, though, I usually get this brand of little marshmallow Santa’s every year but the one time I set out to eat The 12 Santa’s of Christmas they only have snowmen. This one is not my fault.

Santa Ten
Pez Santa

Here you go! Hitting double digits strong with a Pez dispenser shaped like St. Nicholas himself! Feeling good about this one. And the lemon flavored Pez only tasted kind of like furniture polish, so…

Santa Eleven
Homemade Santa
Speaking of lemons, you know how they say that when life hands them to you, you make lemonade? Well when life hands you no candy Santas you make one. Here’s mine. 

It’s a Reese’s Peanut Butter Snow man face with a Christmas Tree Cake beard and hat (which has a Candy Corn M&M ball on top.) It looks like a train wreck, I admit, but it might just be the best tasting Santa on the list. Score one for arts & crafts!

Santa Twelve
The Super Dooper Reindeer Pooper!

It’s a plastic reindeer that poops brown jelly beans! Okay, so maybe it’s not a Santa but flying reindeer are Santa’s pals/pets/employees and when you see this thing in action you’ll forgive me. Seriously. Watch the short video below--

What did I tell you? It’s awesome! And the jelly beans only taste figuratively like crap so that’s a bonus.

Okay, I didn't quite hit my goal of eating a dozen Santas but I gave it a shot and had fun trying. And if I learned anything from my attempt it's this: If you don't believe in Santa then, friend, you're just not looking in the Christmas candy isle. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

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